What Do You Do When You Know You Were Wrongly Diagnosed?
Since my oncology appointment last Wednesday as much as I tried to avoid cancer life again, I have been sucked back in. I guess only the past two days has my mind been focused on the mistakes Kaiser made in 2009. The mistakes the pathologist made could have huge repercussions. That is what I keep going back to. I should have had chemo and Herceptin. Having Her+++ IDC means a more aggressive form of cancer. I go back to the fact that I had nothing. No chemo, no Herceptin, no radiation and no Tamoxifen for the past four years. That is my hang up.
I have tried to let it all go and hope that I get a pass, that for some reason all of that won’t matter and I will live to be an old woman. For the most part over the past six months I have tried to let all of this go and just enjoy my life. It is only when I am forced back in by doctors that I get reminded that I should have done more to keep myself away from cancer for a long time.
But in the end I guess I just have to let it go right? Or can I? I am not sure I will ever let it go, now with the knowledge I have. I have made the decision to just live it up and do all the things I want to do now, while I am healthy. So hopefully after the results of this scan come in, after I see yet another cardiologist for my heart issues I will have six months off again, then I can live in bliss again. But for today, I wait and ponder what more should have been done in 2009.