Today is a new day!
Today is a new day… today I am Amber, wife, mother and preschool teacher… well teacher on vacation for a week until after surgery. I had a photo shoot this morning with a good friend Danielle, thank you Danielle! I really didn’t want to do this at first, I have wanted to curl up and just hide out. But I remembered many weeks ago before diagnosis when I was alone in my office. I remember thinking “Why not me?” If it is me, I knew right there and then that I was supposed to be raw, honest even when I was angry or dark.
The shoot went well, I feel like I am in somewhat control… but know not really. We are all not really in control of our lives our we? None of know the hour or minute that we breath our last breath. That is the good thing about us, we can not read our future. Would we even want too?
The sun is shinning, my horses are happy, I can hear the laughter of students in the room next to me. My kids are full of life and healthy. What more can I ask for. So why not me? I am just like any other women, but I have cancer. I do not want to be defined by my cancer, I still want to be just Amber…. but if I have to sport it around for awhile, to get someone to pay attention to themselves, or to take it one next step to get that lump checked out I will be happy to sport it around.
Today enjoy the sunshine, enjoy this moment, enjoy your kids laughter. I will…. I love my life, I love all that I have accomplished. I have big plans still.