So Many Things I Want To Do….
Feeling overwhelmed…. I have such an urgency to do so much. Accomplish so much but not enough time or not enough energy. I want to finish my book, I need to get Families for Humanity going, and I have Smart Start and my kids. I want to be at every practice every game for them. I also want to start the process of Franchising Smart Start… but it is a lot. I run out of time every day… or maybe there is just so much I am trying to accomplish… but time is running out. Or at least that is how I am feeling. I am four years out from my cancer diagnosis. I am finding that the quiet ticking sound in the back of my mind is quietly appearing again. It was such a nice break. I had no dr. apt and have not thought of my cancer in months.
I am not back to worrying but I am logical matter of fact really. I may put people off sometimes because of my calm matter of fact look on life. I love life I love my life! I love where I am. I do know that I was truly lucky last time…. Sometimes I even wonder if I was too lucky and possibly they missed something. But I am still here; I am still very much alive. So I want to do so much I have so much in me I want to do.
What I think I really need to do is to stay up late… learn to work late in the night. I have always crashed at nine. But maybe this is how I may get everything I want to done.
This weekend at breakfast with the kids we went over everyone goals. I am so proud of all of my kids. They are all such doers. We updated our bulletin board in the kitchen to add all of our goals. Some goals were already accomplished since the New Year so a few kids had to add new goals. I am so excited for each of them, to already get the concept of dreaming and working towards their dreams. I am so honored to be their mom and each day even if they are sassy or having a hard time I still LOVE them and am so proud. These four kids are learning to love life, and learning the concept of choosing to be happy. They are funny, loving, and smart and have a heart for others.
Time is ticking for us all, not just me, not just a person who has cancer or had cancer. Life is flying by, wouldn’t you agree? Look back on the last five years, didn’t they come and go so fast? Another lesson I am trying to teach our kids. To really enjoy each day even if it is hard. I am so incredibly grateful to have a chance to live where I live, to be born in the family I was in and to be who I am. Truly humbled and grateful for all that I have. As I talk about other things I want to do know that if I should perish tomorrow I had the best life possible.
Today I am writing to refocus and to gear up to accomplish all I listed earlier in this post. I write because it makes me feel better, it calms me and it gears me up for greatness. Today even though I feel overwhelmed with everything I want to accomplish I feel blessed to be able to dream and to set goals. I am so thankful for all that I have been through and what I have learned, and I love that I have also learned that I will never know everything far from it. I love that I can come to a place and acknowledge that I truly will never know the answers to life. I just take my journey in this life day by day and choose happiness.