Saying good bye… tomorrow is the day
I was really ok when I woke up this morning. My head feel a bit heavy but other than that I woke up with a thankful heart. I am thankful that I am not loosing my site, my hearing, any of my limbs. I am overall healthy, I am thankful that I am loosing something that can be replaced… not perfectly but in the end possibly better then before.. or at least I can dream right?
But a few hours into the morning, as I see a friends tears it hits me again. This process this journey is not mine alone. It is all of ours. The people who are close to me are suffering as well. It is so shocking when we hear a young person has cancer or is terminally ill. The shock of the news is the realty that reminds us of our own mortality. We all have an end, a last day, a last breath. It is inevitable. We can not stop death.
It is ok to cry, it is ok to say goodbye. It is ok for you the reader to be sad. I am sad too, I am crying now too. It is a very sureal time, so strange. I knew if I stopped my mind would think. I would feel many emotions. I did not want to stop today… I did not want to feel the emotions. But in realty I need to feel whatever comes my way. I needed to stop and reflect. I need to let it go, and then breath in the peace that passes all understanding.
Thank you again for all of your prayers, love and support. Thank you for reading…. thank you for loving me at one time or another.