Life in Thailand

Life in Thailand

It is our second day here in Bangkok. Yesterday we spent the day at Temples and the royal palace. It is so warm here and it is their winter. The temples were beautiful as the royal palace. When you enter the temple women must be covered up to show respect and you must wear no shoes. I found myself a bit emotional as I watched patrons fall to their knees and bow to the giant golden Buddha. I came to this far off land to not only travel but to learn spiritually as well. So I watched with deep respect as one by one patrons came bringing gifts of flowers and fruit. But I am surprised to find myself not believing even more in religion. Why does one bow to a statue? Or why do we in our culture bow to Virgin Mary or why do we have crosses in churches. It all seems so similar in all cultures. Please let me say that I am not in any way mocking of anyone who bows before Buddha or another item, cross or otherwise. I am just searching seeking truth. But yet something struck me yesterday in the temples, that no matter what culture we are, we all are seekers of more. Yet is there more or can we just live in this moment? More and more I am finding myself to just give up finding truth. What if it is already all around us? What if we are just to be here, in this very moment? It is all we are promised right? I appreciate all the teachings of religion; the main ideas of love others as you would love yourself. The Buddha taught service to others and that I must learn. To live in this world I don’t want to be a taker but a giver.


 I want to raise my children to not think of themselves as better then others. Chosen ones if you will, as I believed for so long. If you believe just the right way you are chosen and better then others because you believe just the right way. I want to learn to live with love and compassion not fear because I question pastors or monks or anyone who teaches they know the right path to eternity. I am realizing that to acknowledge that I don’t know the truth of eternity or how we came to be feels liberating. In honesty no one truly knows our purpose of being. When we come to this realization it is overwhelming. I love life, my family my job and the world around me. I have not given up on believing in God. I still believe in a higher power grateful for each new day that I awake. I just can’t live life as though I know it all anymore that I am the chosen one on my way to heaven and yet the people I pass on the streets of Bangkok poor and barefoot will one day perish and live in eternal damnation because they didn’t believe the right way. Is that a just and loving God? This New Year I want to learn to meditate and learn to be a servant not a taker…

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