Let the waiting continue….
I guess it is time for an update. Today as I cruised Facebook I saw a sad very hard post to read. Gail a women who I have never met in person. A women who I only emailed through FB and shared one thing in common passed away this week. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months before me. A mutual friend put us in touch. She gave me advise before my big surgery and she encouraged me during my journey through BC. Today my heart is so sad, I knew the cancer had come back. I knew it had spread to her brain. I knew she was getting sicker. Today though it hit hard… cancer killed her. She was a mother and wife, daughter and friend. Left behind are people who are heart broken.
Today I cried… I cried for Gail who lost her life way to short because of this fucking disease. I also think is that there is a huge possibility that may be my future, is my future for cancer to kill me too? As of now I am alive and kicking. But I also know what cancer can do… how silently and quietly it can kill someone. Today I am reminded yet again how precious our life is. How in this moment when I have strength and energy I need to enjoy every minute of my life.
Tomorrow is Mother’s day and I am so in love with my family. I am so appreciative of my husband who loves me unconditionally. For my kids who check in all the time to see how I am feeling and who tells me they love me so much. I am thankful for kind energetic and go getter kids. I am thankful for kids who already dream big and who have big plans. I am thankful for a husband who has learned to have patience and who gets better and better being a dad each and every year. I am thankful to be alive and today I am thankful for simple inhalers that have been helping me breathe again and not coughing every two minutes. I am thankful for getting some of my energy back.
I feel like I am still in limbo with my health…. I am waiting on more testing to see if the spot in my Pelvis/Uterus/Ovary… they are not sure the exact location, is nothing or something. I continue to wait… but today even as my heart breaks for Gail… I relish in my own joy of still being alive and healthy today.
Rest in peace Gail…thank you for encouraging me…