Getting Anxious, Excited All At Once…
Well as Christmas passed and the house is packed up, now it is time to focus on getting ready for our big trip to Thailand. Forrest and I leave in 9 days! So much to do, when you have four kids. But finally I think I have the arrangements made as far as the kids go while we are gone. Now I am working on the daily schedules, the birthday parties they have, soccer, gymnastics etc.
I am trying not to stress about this trip. This trip is a trip of a lifetime. An exciting adventure I get to share with my husband. But as parents how can you not stress a little? I want my kids to be world travelers. I began traveling when I was 16. I left my family and traveled doing missions work. It was such a life changing experience. Then when I graduated high school I saved all of my graduation money and put it toward my trip to Africa. Again I left my family and got on a plane and didn’t sleep for three days of travel I was so excited. Again my life was forever changed not only by the experiences I had, the people I met but on that trip I fell in love for the first time.
Now after sixteen years, I will board another plane and set off for another adventure. I am trying to push away the small guilty feeling I have for doing this trip. I am a mother to four beautiful children, is it selfish of me to leave them for 12 days? We waited to travel again until they were old enough to be ok without us for a bit. It is hard not to go to a dark place thinking something horrible may happen to us while we are gone. Then how guilty will I feel. I love my children to the moon and back. I want them to be risk takers, I want them to see the world how it truly is, different cultures, different religions and different people. I want them to travel. So if we don’t take risks will my kids take risks? I know I am just being a tad bit paranoid but I am a realist. Always have been and always will be.
But mostly I am so excited to go and experience the unknown. I don’t know the language at all, I really have no idea what to expect. Yes we have our itinerary but still have no idea what to expect. I do know that I am going to Thailand with my heart and soul wide open. I go to learn more about myself, my marriage, my kids and my life. I am going to work on myself. Sometimes we have to slow down, and leave normal life all together to really get the root of your soul and your purpose. I am bringing many books by Allan Watts. I am bringing my video camera and my lap top to journal. I want to renew our marriage and I want to come back as better parents, a better business women and a better humanitarian. We are not going there to serve. My first trip not doing that, but I have a feeling this trip is only the catalyst of future trips in the near future where we as a family will serve.
I have a lot to do before we leave. I am a true procrastinator, I work better that way. So by Tuesday it will be crunch time and I will be getting it all done I am sure.
Getting excited… 9 more days!