Finding Your Own Truth
Each one of us are looking, exploring and questioning the world around us. For some, they have found the answer in maybe their religion or through life experiences. This has been my journey of self-discovery this past year, finding my own truth or what feels right within my own soul. While in Thailand this past year I remember exactly when it happened when I found my truth. (You know the moment when all of a sudden you are frozen in time just for a split second, when something becomes clear, like it was always there in front of you but you weren’t ready to see it) I was admiring a three ton golden Buddha, watching the patrons setting down their offerings. Some were praying, some were silently gazing at the Buddha. It was an incredible experience, I have to say and I was mesmerized. I planned our trip to Thailand for two main reasons. One was for our wedding anniversary of fifteen years. (Our first big trip in sixteen years and our first time leaving all four kids without us for more than three days) After fifteen years it is good to reconnect come back together from a crazy busy life and actually be a couple and enjoy a new adventure together. So that was reason number one. The second reason, which I quietly kept to myself, was for spiritual reasons. I wanted to learn from another culture their beliefs and I was open to learning more about why we are here on this earth. The question I am sure most of you have asked at one time or another. So there I was in Thailand watching as each different person came to pay his or her respects to the Buddha. It was at that moment that I found my truth. I say this now because I am approaching a year from that moment and I still feel the same way. In that moment I realized for the first time in my life that it didn’t matter anymore. The searching out, trying desperately to figure out mankind, figure out the universe and to learn the age-old question why are we here. For the first time in a long time I have found peace in that little fact, or that moment of truth I like to call it. I found peace with not knowing and for me, for my truth that works. I know I will never truly know the answers to life’s biggest questions. I don’t have to go on quests or read one hundred books to figure it out. Now will I still go on quests? Hell yes. Will I still read books on life and philosophy? Yes. But I no longer have a yearning to pursue and feel disappointed with not really knowing the answer. So that day in Thailand my moment of truth came to me, quietly like a soft wind. I have never been the same. I look at life more in the moment and I no longer feel I have to spend my days here on earth searching for answers. Instead I can enjoy each day for what it is. Yes I still have bad days, of course we all do. But taking out the searching has allowed me to really just live out my dreams and desires that I want to accomplish while I am alive and able.
Some More Truths
I know that I love my family more than anything. I know that I am working hard daily to raise my kids to lovable kind and respectable good citizens. I am teaching them to love all human beings no matter their color, sexual orientation or how much money they do or do not have. I am cooking with each of them, (even though I am no Betty Crocker) so they have the skills to live life on their own one day. I give them jobs around the house with deadlines so when they do decide their career one day they will already be able to rise to the challenges and be successful.
My truth is that I dream big, sometimes I question my own dreams thinking they are bigger than I can take on. I teach my kids to also dream big; we even have a goal board in our kitchen. (Vlog later to come regarding that goal board) With hard work and determination I believe we can all surprise ourselves with what we can truly accomplish.
My truth is that I love being a mom; I love watching my kids get older and sharing new experiences with them.
My truth I love being married, although I think more people need to be honest with how hard it is to maintain a healthy marriage. It is a lot of work and many times a lot of different phases and feelings throughout the journey.
My truth is that I am a cancer survivor and with that comes many unknowns and questions, is my cancer truly gone? Will it come back or even has it come back? But when I start to think about this more and more I realize we all have unknowns, we all have no idea about tomorrow and what is to come.
My truth is that I am a business owner and really enjoy my career. I am that mom who juggles home life and career and I love it and find that I strive on chaos and being busy, but hey that is just me. ( I have always wondered if I am an undiagnosed ADHD child)
My truth is that I am far from perfect, I yell sometimes, I loose my patience and I question my parenting skills. I doubt my writing, I doubt that I will reach my goals and I feel like a failure at times in all areas. I put goals and standards on myself that only I know. (Then feel really bad, when I don’t accomplish that thing, this I am working on)
My truth is that I am just me, Amber Farman a wife, mother, business women, writer and dreamer. It feels good to know that I am content with my truth even if others’ may not be. I also know that I am terrible with grammar (think I have a person to help me with this 😉 )
This is my experiment; I want to know others truths, dreams and goals. I want to create a space that we can acknowledge we are all just human creating our truth to survive and live in the world. I am taking my blog to a whole new level. I will be writing about family life, (life with a teenager in the house) spiritual questions, business and living life after cancer. I will be Vlogging (you know, video blog. Ignore my no makeup and in work out clothes kind of look, because I plan to work out a lot this year) I want to interview people, lots of people. I want to hear from others about their truth. Maybe you have never even thought about what your truth is? Maybe your truth is your belief in God, or an experience or I don’t even know what. I want you, ordinary humans on this journey we call life to talk to teach each of us something new.
Over the years I have had ideas, and I have planned out and accomplished many of those ideas. But looking back I didn’t record the process to remind myself how hard it was to get to that goal or what when wrong with an idea that didn’t take off. So this is all my experiment. I am going to take an idea; it is a tiny seed right now. It is only in my imagination. I am going to see if this seed of an idea will turn into an awesome flower blooming bigger and bigger. I would love for you take this journey with me. Talking life, learning from others and acknowledging we are all just living a life looking for purpose.
Contact me, give me ideas or do you have a story you need to share? Maybe it will help you move on? Make sure to follow my blog, because I am excited to take this journey with you and I want to know your truth!
So welcome to my new blog… watch out I may be asking to interview you.