Embracing the new me!
My last post talked about to stuff or not to stuff. I went one day as a stuffed teenager. I ventured out to the doctors and some errands. But at the end of the day it was just another thing to add to my list of things to get ready. As women we are told from a early age how vital our looks are, of course our mothers tell us we are pretty no matter what, and try and teach us it is what is on the inside that is important. However, we all know what society really says about beauty.
Girls you have been in a store and before you know it your chest is being scoped…. or you may have gotten the once over by a man. These are the things I have pondered this week as I adjust and decide what is right for me. In the end, I say screw what society says or the pressure of what I thought I needed to look like or be like. I was not sure what I would choose after my surgery, what look I would embrace.
The shock of being a boobless wonder has faded. I am embracing the teenager in bloom much faster than I thought. I realize that it no longer matters to me. I am not saying I do not care how I look when I leave my house, I still like to put my favorite earrings on, some mascara and straighten my hair. But stepping out of my house, out of my comfort zone with no boobs is empowering.
I am embracing it, I no longer care….I am a boobless wonder and it is my battle scar if you will. I do not feel like a survivor, or that I have battled anything really. I chose to cut all of the cancer out, even if that meant cutting a part of my body off, like most of us would if given a choice.
I walk with my head held high…. I have suffered from the pain both emotionally and physically but today I am just me… just Amber. Yes I walk a little slower, not quite that tall yet, and a little tired at times, I have no breast and choose to still wear the tank tops I once wore… even if I am flatter than a panckake, because I choose to be alive, I am a wife, mother, friend and lover of life! I am a boobless wonder, and I embrace this, in this I feel liberated!