Since Monday I went on Cancer land vacation. Forrest and I took the kids on Monday to Grass Valley for a fun little adventure. It was so nice to soak up the 85 degree weather and forget about the beast, called cancer living inside me.
We went to a old gold mine and explored the beautiful gardens. Then we ate a a cute cafe outside in old town Grass Valley. What a wonderful day. I was pretty exhausted by the end of it, but it was a much needed day off!
Tuesday I also took the day off, no phone calls, no research nada. We packed our kids up and they went to visit their cousins and grandparents. I am so thankful for the wonderful family that we have. I miss my kids so much, felt guilty at first but know that taking the week to rest and rejuvenate is just what I need right now. I also know that the kids will have a blast.
Today however I entered cancer land again. This time however I feel completely in control. I have done my research, I have looked over my latest pathology report and feel quite confident in my decision to have a bilateral mastectomy. I know it is the only choice given the size, grade and extensiveness of the cancer. I also know that if I kept the good breast, I would only live in fear of it creeping in that one as well.
So today I made all of my follow up calls, oncology, radiology, plastic surgeon and my breast surgeon. I also called back Dr. Bodai, and talked with him about my decision. He backed me fully and he also feels after reading my pathology report that this is the only way to go. Especially with my double negative hormone receptors as well as my age. Big sigh of relief, for some reason I kept thinking I was going to have to fight for this as well. Fight to have my so called healthy breast chopped off. So it has been decided and now I wate for the official date.
I am organizing the house, clearning the closets, at a slow rate with all my breaks in between as I rest. But I am getting ready for the big day. I am excited to wake up from the big surgery knowing this damn beast will be out of me!