Thought for the day

One More Day Branded On My Soul

It’s been nine years since I heard the words your biopsy was positive for cancer. It has been five days since I heard my Dad’s shaken voice on the other end, saying “Your Mom passed, I need you to come to the house right away.” There are dates in our lives which we never forget. […]

Lessons Learned in 2017

It’s time, the new year is upon us are you beginning to reflect and look back on 2017? As I sit here in the dark with only the soft white lights of the Christmas tree and three glowing candles on the coffee table I can’t help but smile. Actually, I may have a few tears […]

Let the war die…

  I get it, sides are created. It’s normal. When you have a war you must believe in the side you fight for. You must create craziness, hatred for the enemy. I’ve been there I’ve done it. No one is perfect, grief and anger can bring the absolute  worst out of a person.  I’ve been […]

Love, Life and Lessons Learned

Love, Life and Lessons Learned

    My life as it is now feels like a dream sometimes. A year ago I couldn’t even picture a life different from the one I was living. Honestly my tear stained face felt like a permanent fixture, one I would live with until the day I died. My broken shattered heart cut my […]

7 Years? Really?

I woke up today like it was any other morning, until Facebook helped me remember what today really is. At first thought I’m glad that it took Facebook to help me remember, because that means I’ve moved on and don’t think about it very often anymore. Seven years today… seven years ago it was a […]

Farewell 2015 & Hello 2016

It feels odd sitting here typing words after such a long hiatus. Although the speed of my fingers and the sounds of the keys makes me realize it has been way too long. As usual I sit here and ponder the year that is coming to a close and begin to dream and plan for […]

Maybe it’s Time to Look At Death Differently

  Her name has been all over the news; her face has been on the cover of magazines. A year ago she was only known by those in her inner circle. She was just a nameless face in the crowd. Today, however, her name is well known and mired in controversy.   Brittany Maynard was […]

Content On A Sunday

There are days I find myself needing to write. To pause and reflect on the journey I am on. Today is one of those days. It is a gloomy day here in Northern California, however gloomy just means rainy and dark. The rain is welcomed with open arms and I glance out the window at […]

Why Are You Helping Those Not In America?

I am scheduled to leave for Guatemala in five days. Not only me this time or my family but I am excited to say there will be six other women joining me! It has been a funny thing really, something that I just can’t get out of my mind. I originally thought when planning this […]

Raising Children With Strong Wings Ready To Fly

When our children are little they need all of our attention. They are helpless, only their cries help determine their needs. Then they begin to grow and toddle around. We can step back only a few feet and watch them grasp their first unstable steps of independence. As their parent, their protector we make sure […]

New Year, New Beginnings!

As I sit here on my couch, I glance at the falling leaves from the winter wind in our backyard. The sun is bright, there is a crisp freshness all around me. With 2014 almost behind us, I reflect on the year that I now must say goodbye too, actually we all must say goodbye […]

The Start Of Failure Or Something Great

I am about to embark on a new journey as a debut author. As I begin to check the boxes of my mental list of things to do to prepare, I acknowledge that I may soon be falling flat on my ass. I have decided to journal and keep tabs of my failures and hopefully […]

Cover Reveal & Release Date!

I am only days away from submitting my baby, my very beloved work to the final editor. It has been almost a year since I wrote the words the end, on the pages of my first manuscript. It was called Goodbye My Loves. When I finally typed those final words, my heart leaped with joy.  […]

Five Reasons Why The Teenage Years Are Awesome

I have reached high school well not me officially, my oldest child. How is it that I cried more this morning then his first day of Kindergarten? For years I feared the teenage years, this stage of his life.  I worried  about rebellion and bad choices. What has happened however, is just the opposite. I love […]

Robin Williams You Will Be Missed…..

What a huge loss to hear that Robin Williams passed away. First hearing the news via Facebook (is it strange to anyone else that we get our news from FB?) I felt incredibly sad. His death was a bit more heartbreaking than others. To me Robin Williams was so full of life, living a very […]

The Shift

Have you ever felt a shift in your life? It is something you feel deep within but sometimes not sure how it will all play out. That is exactly what is happening inside of me. Since returning from Guatemala there is a shift happening and I am not sure what to make of it. Normally […]

Life Changed By Beautiful Guatemala

It is 10:12 a.m. as I sit here in my living room typing on my mac book for the first time in over nine days. My head is heavy from lack of sleep and my body feels a bit tired, but more importantly I feel heaviness in my heart. You see it has been a […]

Big News, Actually Life Changing News For Many!!!

A few weeks ago we celebrated our daughters eighth birthday. That day felt a little more special but also a little more sad for me. I have really been heartbroken for the circumstances Gabi’s mother must have been in, to feel as though her only choice was to give her up. What you did not […]

I Missed My Deadline By Two Days But….

I have to sit for just a minute, not like I have not spent hours and hours in front of my macbook already, but I just need a few more minutes today to reflect on the past 52 days. Fifty two days ago on April 23rd I embarked on a journey of re-writing my entire […]

Look Up…

I just finished a couple hours of writing, another step towards completing my manuscript. It has been an amazing week, those kind of weeks when you look around and think “How lucky am I! What a Freaking Awesome life” it was that kind of week. Nothing really special, mostly just stopping to smell the roses, […]

Manuscript Take #2- Ready, Set, Go!

Before I begin my journey of an entire re-write of my manuscript I thought I would document it here. I honestly feel a little emotional with excitement and anticipation. There is always a sense of where the characters will take me this time. Although I am keeping the main story arc and characters there is […]

Bucket List… Do You Have One?

Do you have a bucket list? Is it written down or stored somewhere up in your head? Mine is pretty much in my head. However while I was checking off another one of my bucket list items I realized that my list is getting rather short and really not much left on it. So I […]

My Secret Dark Cloud Of Sorrow

I promised myself with this blog I would write the good and the bad. Writing helps me process my emotions and my feelings. I have had a lot of growth over the past few years but there are times my secret dark cloud of sorrow comes crashing back into my life. Speaking your truth also […]

Allow Yourself To Be Free

This morning I awoke with such a free spirit. I am awake, I am alive and my soul is well. After a big event this past weekend I finally feel back to my normal self so this morning, while I should be getting ready for my doctor appointment and work I can’t help but smile […]

Choosing To Embrace Authentic You

There is has been a word I have been pondering lately, a word that keeps creeping up in my daily thoughts and how I want to live my life. That word is  “Authentic” For most of my life I lived a very in the box kind of life. I was raised to believe in certain […]

Coming Out Of The Closet-Your Closet

Before I begin this blog entry I want to say first THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who has been reading. Thank you for your comments in passing and encouragement in writing this blog. Thank you to a reader (Judy) for such a sweet note in the mail. You truly made my day.  I do […]

Help I Am Stuck And Can’t Get This Top Off!

I am sure you have been there before. You head out shopping and get excited to try something on then… BAMB, you are STUCK! Today I ventured out to Victoria Secret again. It seems it is my new favorite place since they sized me and I was reminded that I definitely went up in this […]

Can Being Grateful & Happy Be A Way Of Life?

I recently heard a Ted Talk about “Happiness” thanks to my husband who told me I had to listen to it. He said I would love it.  So Friday morning on my day off while I should have been cleaning the house I ended up parked at my island in my kitchen taking notes because […]

The Writers Conference Virgin

So I flew down to San Diego yesterday to attend my first ever writer’s conference. So I guess you can say I am a writers conference virgin, or for that matter any conference virgin. I know I am changing when I check into my hotel at 7 p.m. and feel I must work out immediately. […]

Speaking The Truth, Even If Your Voice Shakes

I have promised myself to blog the good and the bad, to be honest with myself and to really speak or should I say write my truth. Sometimes though the truth is hard, the truth is messy and the truth is unclear. Life is messy sometimes and our paths feel unclear. When we choose to […]

Living Life With Intention

This morning while showering I was deep in thought. I find that I do my best thinking in the shower. Some people may sing, but I think (at least most days when I am running 100 mph) I was reflecting on some conversations I have had over the past week about my blog and why […]

Growing Older Can Be A Celebration!

Birthdays, we all have them, we may not want them but we can’t stop them. So why not enjoy them and celebrate the fact that we have been alive another year? As a kid we can’t wait until our next birthday, we plan our party months in advance and we celebrate when we reach the […]

First 7 Days Of Workouts Done & Completed!!

Well I did it! I worked out every day for the past 7 days. Did not miss a day. I have played Tennis, ran up and down stairs, sit ups, push ups, punched a punching bag, a little yoga, ran, walked, hiked and a little elliptical was thrown it today since it got dark before […]

Finding Your Own Truth

Each one of us are looking, exploring and questioning the world around us. For some, they have found the answer in maybe their religion or through life experiences. This has been my journey of self-discovery this past year, finding my own truth or what feels right within my own soul. While in Thailand this past […]

Day #3 Breaking The Non-Workout Habit

Ok thinking that posting every day might be much. Who cares about working out every day. So I will switch to weekly I think. But I will be working out for 21 days straight… isn’t that what you do to break a habit? Today my buddy was Colbey and a few others out on the […]

Breaking Habit Day #2

                     Sometimes in life we have to overcome, whether it is proving we can work out every day. Publish a manuscript, run a successful business or be a better patient mother. These are the things I thought about today as I went up and down. We […]

Silent Expectations

This past week was rough to say the least. I had several conversations with other moms about the crazy rush of buying presents, kids class parties and well for me I had the extra bonus of putting on a Christmas Program for my preschool. To be honest I had three meltdowns this week. My heart […]

The Dreaded Six Month Oncology Apointment

The Dreaded Six Month Oncology Apointment

This morning I had a routine appointment with my newish oncologist. I say newish because I have only seen him once before, for a consult. I like him so much I think he is my new guy. He has me on a come visit him every six months. Great, that works for me. Since this […]

New Beginnings

New Beginnings

I can’t believe it has been so long since I was last on here. The kids went back to school today and I did the happy dance. Summer was fantastic don’t get me wrong. We enjoyed our summer with boating trips, camping and friends. I am thankful for my family and for all of our […]

Hanging Up My CEO Hat

Hanging Up My CEO Hat

Today I finally get to announce that I am hanging up my CEO hat! Over the past four years I have grown my business 9 times! I went from 3 employees to 31 at one point. All while I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I expanded my Loomis schools, opened a new school in Newark […]

Pushing The Resume Button

Pushing The Resume Button

Tonight I reflect with a joyful heart. Tonight I accept that I am alive and well. For the past four months I have seen Dr. after Dr. Specialist after Specialists and tonight I feel at peace. Through the past four months I have had many lows, many scary moments and I did not see my […]

Let the waiting continue….

Let the waiting continue….

I guess it is time for an update. Today as I cruised Facebook I saw a sad very hard post to read. Gail a women who I have never met in person. A women who I only emailed through FB and shared one thing in common passed away this week. She was diagnosed with breast […]

In The Waiting Room…

In The Waiting Room…

In the waiting room is a cancer term for waiting on results or next steps. That is where I wait. I have been on pause literally since February as I started seeing Dr. Now it is 2:15 a.m. and for the past few days I just wake up from a deep sleep and realize I […]

Brand New Kind Of Free, Brand New Kind Of Me….

Brand New Kind Of Free, Brand New Kind Of Me….

Sometimes in life there are moments that will be forever sketched into our memory. Those moments that take your breath away whether good or bad. The moment you walk down the isle and promise yourself to someone. The moment you become a parent for the first time or the moment you are told you have […]

The puzzle that is bigger than us…

The puzzle that is bigger than us…

Sometimes in life come those Aha moments. Those times where things just seem to make sense, where there is peace when before it may have been missing. In Thailand I had one of those Aha moments when I was in the first Temple watching the patrons bringing their offerings to the giant goden Buda. I […]

Four Years Today

Four Years Today

Today was a rough day for me. Not sure if it was due to my cancer anniversary or due to the fact that I am feeling in limbo on quite a few things. Today I cried and cried a lot. I slept and reflected. Then I got myself together to enjoy my kids when they […]

So Many Things I Want To Do….

So Many Things I Want To Do….

Feeling overwhelmed…. I have such an urgency to do so much. Accomplish so much but not enough time or not enough energy. I want to finish my book, I need to get Families for Humanity going, and I have Smart Start and my kids. I want to be at every practice every game for them. […]

Familia

As I continue to look into my past I realize where a lot of my beliefs really began to shift. The moment I became a mother for the first time everything that I thought I knew seemed to change. I knew or at least I thought I would be a great mother. I became a […]

Time to Back up a Bit

I have been thinking about my past few posts. I am also realizing that it can be offending many. Honestly I write for my own personal journey and reflection. I have always chosen to be a honest writer, to share my feelings and emotions because I feel it does a disservice to hide behind a […]

Wide Awake At 3:00 a.m.

We got back in from Thailand late last night! What a joy it was to see all four of our kids! I missed them so much and can’t wait to take them traveling. I am up at 3:00 a.m. my time here in CA, my body just has not adjusted back to this time.  My […]

Life in Thailand

It is our second day here in Bangkok. Yesterday we spent the day at Temples and the royal palace. It is so warm here and it is their winter. The temples were beautiful as the royal palace. When you enter the temple women must be covered up to show respect and you must wear no […]

Getting Anxious, Excited All At Once…

Getting Anxious, Excited All At Once…

Well as Christmas passed and the house is packed up, now it is time to focus on getting ready for our big trip to Thailand. Forrest and I leave in 9 days! So much to do, when you have four kids. But finally I think I have the arrangements made as far as the kids […]

Just Simple Ramblings…

Just Simple Ramblings…

Since the horrific tragedy I had to stay away from the internet. I couldn’t write because I wasn’t even sure what to say. If you visited Facebook as so much of us do every day, it was bombarded with opinions of what is wrong with our country. Let’s face it there is many things wrong […]

Living a life you won’t regret

Living a life you won’t regret

This past Monday I went to see my “Guru”. On my drive there I thought about the past few weeks. I thought about the radical change I have seen in my life even over the past two weeks. As I drove I realized I didn’t need my “Guru” anymore or at least for awhile. I […]

The Shift

The Shift

I guess when you decide to make a change, to not live as you lived before so begins a shift. For two months I wanted to change, I needed to not be so angry, so irritable but in reality I just wasn’t ready yet to change. So I am not sure why but over Thanksgiving […]

Decisions

Decisions

Sometimes in life decisions need to be made. You ponder them, you analyze them and if you are like me you may write a pro and con list. I have made a decision and since this decision I am feeling as though I am a new person. I guess that means I am on the right track. Life […]

Reinvention

Reinvention

So many of us walk around with a big giant smile on our face. We laugh with our friends, we cheer with our cocktails and we support others when they are hurting. All the while inside we feel as though we are loosing our way, inside we feel as though we may just explode any […]

Wow Where Did Two Years Go?

Wow Where Did Two Years Go?

I have been thinking about my blog lately. Thinking about how I just abandoned it, this with another writing project I have worked on for some time. Someone approached me the other day, and told me she read my blog. That got me thinking again, that maybe it is time to write again. I can’t […]

Blessed beyond my dreams

Blessed beyond my dreams

My life these days are full of emotions. Some days I am so low so sad and filled with fear of my cancer returning. However most days my emotions are one of joy and gratitude for the life I am living. This is how I feel today, I am overwhelmed with joy almost to the […]

“D” Day One Year Anniversay

I thought about what I would write when this day came many times over the past year. I wondered what emotions would come as I celebrate my one year anniversary of being told the life changing information that sunny March 11th day. Tomorrow is the day, the one year anniversary of “D” day. That simple […]

Letting Go Of Fear Is Hard

Letting Go Of Fear Is Hard

I have not been on here in awhile. I have been swamped and honestly stressed out of my mind. My last surgery was November 30th, 2009. Two days later I was working on a state application to open my new center in the Bay Area. So began the crazy journey of opening up a school […]

2010 In Motion

Wow, we are only two weeks into the new year and so much is happening!!! First off great news about my car. I was just told yesterday that they are going to fix it.. .all 17k worth of damage! That is awesome news as that car was just perfect for me and the kids! Where […]

A New Journey In 2010!!

Happy New Year to all! I am not sure if there was any other year that I looked forward to, then this one. I was more than happy to say goodbye to 2009! I will share one last thing about 2009 and then I will move on, to better and brighter things! Just 4 days […]

2009 in Review

I thought I better sit down for a minute and clear my head. Today I woke with so many emotions. First I am still surprised that today truly is Christmas morning. Where does the time go? This past year has been a remarkable year for me. A year I never expected, possibly guessed from time […]

Allowing Myself to Experience Good Things

Allowing Myself to Experience Good Things

This past week was a week I will remember in my life’s journey. Do you ever have a day or a moment that you realized something deep about yourself or life? This past week was one of those weeks for me. Some may call it PMS, some may call it being an emotional gift, but […]

Speaking My Mind….

Speaking My Mind….

Yesterday I was in the car for a few hours. When I am in the car for a long period of time, I usually get lost in thought. I take a look at my behavior, things of the week and how I played a role in the world around me. In my thoughts and evaluations […]

Reflective Moods

Reflective Moods

For the past two weeks I have been in a reflective mood. Not sure why, not sure where it will take me but what I do know is that cancer is on my brain. I look back at the past three months and think where in the hell did that time go? I am realizing […]

Exchange Surgery Date Set

Exchange Surgery Date Set

Today was a good day, I finally booked my next surgery. You would be surprised to know how joyful and giddy I was to get a date scheduled for my new foobs! November 30th I will once again head into the operating room. This time I hope for a speedy recovery and some squishy girls […]

Wow it has been a VERY long time!!!

I am realizing it has been almost three months since I posted. Wow where did the time go???? I think what happened was that I pushed the “resume” button on my life and well… you get the picture. I wanted to give a quick update, well if you have followed my writing it may not […]

My “Me-Cation” Journey

It was a needed vacation, a solo trip that I felt I needed to do. I packed a small bag, booked a small room at a bed and breakfast and got in my car and head to the ocean. The ocean is a powerful place, the air is salty and fresh, the sounds of the […]

Is Karma True?

We have all heard “Karma’s a bitch” at some point in our lives. This line has been in my mind for days or in reality a few weeks. As I heal from surgery still, deal with breathing issues and just a constant feeling of uncomfortableness. I think back over my life and wonder quietly, was […]

Leaving Cancer Behind

Leaving Cancer Behind

Since my road trip I have really been walking away from cancer. I have the luxury right now too walk away from cancer, and I know that I am very fortunate. I have not visited my cancer board too often and I have not been to the doctor for two weeks. So I guess I […]

Can’t think of a creative title…

Can’t think of a creative title…

It has been more than a week since I blogged. I was on vacation for all of last week with my four kids, we had a blast and really needed that time to heal almost from me not being them for them during my recovery. I also took this road trip to prove to myself […]

Spontaneous Road Trip

Wow I have been in my truck for almost two days, but no complaints here! The kids and I are on a road trip, and I am pleased to say no dr. apts. for me this week. I actually skipped out on my apt. I had today. They probably wondered where I was, but I […]

Can I make it a week without seeing a Dr.?

So it has been awhile since I updated, I am trying really hard to move forward and not look backwards. I am trying hard to not have my whole life revolve around cancer…. It is summer and I am really enjoying this time with my 4 kids…. they are growing so fast and I am […]

Today I say %$^# you cancer!

Today I say %$^# you cancer!

Good news… no great news… no amazing news! The week I was diagnosed another young man was diagnosed with leukemia. I do not know Nick personally only have followed his story through a mutual friend. Nick was a very healthy twenty eight year old, he thought he was sick with strep throat only to find […]

Healing Garden

Healing Garden

Forrest made me a garden or at least built me a garden with a fence and a gate during my first surgery recovery time. I have been wanting a garden since we moved here in 2006, but we never found the time to get it going. The past few days I have been feeling like […]

I am humbled

I am humbled

I just read a dying womens latest journal entry regarding submitting herself to hospice care. I am overwhelmed with sadness. I am reminded that life is so precious, we all are on the road to death really. No one is promised to live forever. Her journal entry was so profound, so moving. She fought metastatic […]

Time to Press The “Resume” Button

I am officially pressing the “resume” button on my life! The “pause” button was on for way to long. Summer is here, my kids last day of school was yesterday, I graduated my students from Smart Start and I got great news from the top Pathologist specializing in my cancer. After he reviewed all of […]

The effects of cancer and my kids

This issue has been on my heart for a few weeks. As much as I know I am healing and growing from this experience there have been others who have been incredibly affected. This is about my children, I was not sure if I wanted to write this but part of being open means talking […]

A new passion is bubbling out of me!

I have been awaking each new day with a sense of refreshness, a new urgency a new passion. If you have known me for any amount of time, you should know that I have lived my life even before cancer with this motto… live this life to it’s fullest because we only have one shot. […]

Filler Up…

Today was my first fill…. fill you ask? Well it is officially time to start my reconstruction. I was not sure how it all worked, I knew they had to inject me. It was a piece of cake, got a little freaked when another women came out to the waiting room before me. She told […]

Embracing the new me!

Embracing the new me!

My last post talked about to stuff or not to stuff. I went one day as a stuffed teenager. I ventured out to the doctors and some errands. But at the end of the day it was just another thing to add to my list of things to get ready. As women we are told […]

Day #19 post-op

Day #19 post-op

Today was a fabulous day. Today I had a wonderful visit with a friend, sitting on my back deck. Today I got my last 2 drains out. Today I celebrated with lunch with my favorite guy Forrest and my favorite four year old Colbey. Today, I can feel my body start to bounce back. Today […]

Gratitude

My mental and emotional well being is recovering faster than my body. I know that in time I will physically catch up as well. All in all, though I can feel myself on the road to recovery in all aspects. Today I am full of gratitude! Words will never be enough for all of the […]

The secret sorority, that no one wants to join

The secret sorority, that no one wants to join

There is a secret sorority that exsists, one that the members never had a choice in joining. I am apart of this sorority now, and through this sorority I have found support. I have learned there is always another sister going through much worse… I have also learned that what that other sister is going […]

The truth about living in the moment

The truth about living in the moment

This past weekend I had my darkest days since my diagnosis. I think it all began on Thursday, as the bandages fell to the floor in the small doctor office. Living in the moment has been something that I have learned over the past year. It is not easy, it is a constant battle to […]

Gabi has a broken leg!

So on Wednesday night, Gabi was at her cousins house with Grandma. She went on the trampoline for the first time! Yeah for Gabi… not really. In the end, not sure what happened since I was in bed. But Gabi began crying…. came home to us, very upset. I wanted to hold her and carry […]

When the bandages came off…

Thursday morning was a crazy morning. My next post will go more into details about the twist and turns of this crazy adventure. Thursday morning as we were getting ready to take Gabi to the hospital because we thought her leg was broken my phone rings. The surgeon wanted to see me in two hours […]

7 days post op…

I can’t believe it has been seven days since my breast were chopped off. Wow…. how time flies when you are asleep for seven days. That has been my reality for the past seven days. I have been taking my pain pills and sleeping because the pain has been pretty overwhelming for me. I have […]

Saying good bye… tomorrow is the day

Saying good bye… tomorrow is the day

I was really ok when I woke up this morning. My head feel a bit heavy but other than that I woke up with a thankful heart. I am thankful that I am not loosing my site, my hearing, any of my limbs. I am overall healthy, I am thankful that I am loosing something […]

My boobie send off party!

If you know me, then you know I love to have parties. Any excuse to get together and love on one another. So when I knew that a bilateral mastectomy was in my near future I decided to throw a party for my “girls” a send off so to speak, a celebration of life. I […]

The “Big” surgery set!

The “Big” surgery set!

Surgery #2 date set I woke up this morning full of emotions. Last night I learned that a girl who I had been seeing on the young cancer board, who I have been following her journey had passed yesterday. It hit me on so many levels, she is a stranger to me really, but yet […]

A Ten Year Old With Breast Cancer

A Ten Year Old With Breast Cancer

Last night I went to breastcancer.org, a website I occasionally go too, to get information. Last night I was shocked to read a post from a young mother. A twenty nine year old mother was not on the site for herself. She just found out the lump that her daughter had, came back positive for […]

The power for plants and soil

The power for plants and soil

Today was a beautiful day, the sun is so bright and it is warming up. I find joy in watching my flowers grow. From year to year they get lusher and bigger. Today I spent time planting, my hands in the wet soil, carefully transplanting the roots into the pots. In this I find peace, […]

How Are You?

How Are You?

I am getting this question a lot these days. I don’t mind, but I am not one to say I am great when in realty on the inside I feel so overwhelmed that I just want to curl up in my warm bed. But if you dare to ask the the question…”How are you?” my […]

Cancerland Vacation

Cancerland Vacation

Since Monday I went on Cancer land vacation. Forrest and I took the kids on Monday to Grass Valley for a fun little adventure. It was so nice to soak up the 85 degree weather and forget about the beast, called cancer living inside me. We went to a old gold mine and explored the […]

The Lavender Shawl

The Lavender Shawl

Today we went to church, I had known that my name was given the church to be put on the prayer chain. A friend of mine met me this morning with a gift bag. Before I looked inside she began to tell me the story behind the gift. There is a group of women at […]

In mourning….

In mourning….

The past few days have been draining for me. First I am recovering from surgery last Friday. It put me out a few more days than I orignially expected. Today I am thankful that at this time my lymph nodes were negative. That is great news. I do feel somewhat reveived that they are negative. […]

Pre-Pathology Report

Pre-Pathology Report

Just wanted to do a quick update for everyone. I will write more later. Forrest and I met with my surgeon today, the great news is that my lymph nodes were negative, no cancer! The bad news is that there is still cancer in my breast. So back to surgery for me. I will pick […]

Feeling the love

Feeling the love

First before any update, I am so overwhelmed by all of you! When I awoke this morning, I had so many flowers, gifts and special notes! Even special cards from my students! What a wonderful and emotional wake up! Thank you all, for not only supporting me but my entire family! We are all feeling […]

Day # 15- Males Beware

Day # 15- Males Beware

I have had a very productive day, getting ready for my surgery tomorrow. Yesterday I had a wonderful morning all my myself. Sometimes you need mornings like this to reflect and refresh. Now just to warn you before I begin, if you are a male you may not want to read this. But to be […]

Today is a new day!

Today is a new day!

Today is a new day… today I am Amber, wife, mother and preschool teacher… well teacher on vacation for a week until after surgery. I had a photo shoot this morning with a good friend Danielle, thank you Danielle! I really didn’t want to do this at first, I have wanted to curl up and […]

The Dark Cloud Is Lifting

The Dark Cloud Is Lifting

I am in better spirits this evening. I saw surgeon number 2 today for a second opinion. Dr. Bodai, is a pretty well known breast surgeon specializing in breast cancer. He was great. Very straight forward and honest. I was told that from the biopsy my DCIS is a high grade which means very aggressive, […]

I can’t stop myself

I can’t stop myself

I am on research overload, but can’t seem to stop myself. I have had a strong feeling that I may have cancer since January. At that time I found a wonderful site, a site dedicated specifically to women under 40 facing breast cancer. I was immediately drawn to this group.http://www.youngsurvival.org I could not get enough, […]

Surgery date set

Surgery date set

Just wanted to quickly update you all… I will be going in for a lumpectomy at the end of next week. At this point it is only DCSI, which is described as contained cancer. To know for sure the whole scope of things they will open me up next week, then have a clear cut […]

Day #4 Reality Sinking In….

Day #4 Reality Sinking In….

I think the reality of what is to come is finally sinking in. I had a very sleepless night last night. When I did fall asleep I remember dreaming of my results. I was stage 2 and they were going to start me on a medicine that started with a Herceptin. Not sure really what […]